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Archive for the ‘Fun With Joy’ Category

Laugh at the End

Please laugh at the below joke and go happily to home at the day end:

Four guys, Harvard, Yale, MIT and SANTA SINGH from Punjab University were to be interviewed for a prestigious job.

One common question was asked to all 4 of them. INTERVIEWER: WHICH IS THE FASTEST THING IN THE WORLD?

YALE guy: Its light, Nothing can travel faster than light

HARVARD Guy: It’s the Thought; b’cos thought is so fast it comes instantly in your mind.

MIT guy: Its Blink, you can blink and its hard to realize you blinked

SANTA SINGH: Its Loose motion

INTERVIEWER: (Shocked to hear Santa’s reply, asked) “WHY”?

SANTA SINGH: Last night after dinner, I was lying in my bed and I got the worst stomach cramps, and before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHTS, it was over!!!!

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Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of a river. He used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the Sunday market.

One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and fell in the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood (the woodcutter and the axe ),

He started praying to the River Goddess. The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers. The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river.

As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty. She showed him a match box and asked, ” Is this your computer ?” Disappointed by the Goddess’ lack of computer awareness, the engineer replied, ” No.”

She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was his.

Annoyed, the engineer said “No, not at all!!”

Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it was his.

The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said ” Yes.”

The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was about to give

Him all three items, but before she could make the offer, the engineer

Asked her, “Don’t you know that you’re supposed to show me some better computers before bringing up my own ?”

The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, “I know that, you stupid donkey! The first two things I showed you were the Trillennium and the Billennium, the latest computers from IBM !”. So saying, she disappeared with the Pentium!!

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Moral :If you’re not up-to-date with technology trends , it’s better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you’re a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

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Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.

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Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.

Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.

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Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?

It’s a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

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Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?

Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

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It’s funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.

It’s like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered

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It is difficult to understand GOD . He makes such beautiful things as women and then he turns them into Wives

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If u r married please ignore this MSG,

For everyone else: Happy Independence Day

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Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.

After marriage, he’ll fall asleep before you finish.

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There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage

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Galfriends r like chocolates,
Taste gud anytime.

Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Wife r like Dal RICE, eaten when there`s no choice

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Man receives telegram: Wife deadshould be buried or cremated?

Man: Don’t take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.

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Prospective husband: Do you have a book called ‘Man, The Master of Women’?

Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.

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Q: Why dogs don’t marry?

A: Because they are already leading a dog’s life!

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There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go through hell for her. They got married and now he is going thru hell.

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Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!

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Q: Why doesn’t law permit a man to marry a second woman?

A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!

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A guy walks into a bar and sits down. He starts dialing numbers…
Like a telephone… On his hand and talking into his hand. The bartender walks over and tells him this is a very tough neighborhood and he doesn’t need any trouble here.

The guy says, “You don’t understand. I’m very hi-tech. I had a phone installed in my hand because I was tired of carrying the cellular.”

The bartender says “Prove it .”

The guy dials up a number and hands his hand to the bartender. The bartender talks into the hand and carries on a conversation. “That’s incredible,” says the bartender. “I would never have believed it!”
“Yeah,” said the guy, “I can keep in touch with my broker, my wife, you name it. By the way, where is the men’s room?” The bartender directs him to the men’s room. The guy goes in and 5, 10, 20 minutes go by and he doesn’t return.
Fearing the worst given the neighborhood, the bartender goes into the men’s room. There is the guy spread-eagle on the wall. His pants are pulled down and he has a roll of toilet paper up his butt.

“Oh my god!” said the bartender. “Did they rob you? Are you hurt?”

The guy turns and says: “No, I’m ok . I’m just waiting for a fax.”

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